Me: I’ve never been with a banker
Him: Bankers have big cocks
Me: You sure are cocky
*
Him: What if I decide to have you for dessert?
Me: Can you handle the extra calories?
Him: Stop being a bitch
Me: You’re my role model
Him: Honey, you’d have to try harder
*
Him: You’re strutting
Me: Stop staring at my ass
Him: I’d like to bum around the house with your bum
Me: Uh-huh
Him: That didn’t seem to throw you off. You hate dirty words.
Me: Bum isn’t dirty
Him: Bums can be dirty
Me: Eeew… We’re eating flan
*
Him: What do you think of candles as Christmas gifts?
Me: Candles are the fruitcakes of the new millennium
Him: Hahaha… Must you always talk in magazine copy?
Me: I can’t help it. It’s my job
******
And on and on it went. The witty repartee, the puns and the occasional brush of flesh. It was a very promising first date. We even went shoe shopping together. My most favourite activity. It was great until:
Him: Can I be honest with you?
Me: Shoot
Him: I have boyfriend and we’ve been together seven years and it’s going to be us for life.
Me: Ok. (Choking on my macaroon)
Him: But doesn’t mean I am not allowed to have fun with other people
Me: Ok
It was when I turned monosyllabic that I resigned to what could have been a lovely relationship. I am not one to get in the way of things much as I want to be with him. I have too much self-respect to allow myself to become a convenient booty call.
